23 May 2025

poem: winter visit, 1994
benjamin harker

I didn’t sleep and, trapped in January 1994 in Stepney, in a single Victorian room, / I reached for a timetable

21 May 2025

poem: mole, 1991
benjamin harker

a dark poem from a dark place

20 May 2025

not a question of guilt
iceground

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

19 May 2025

poem: a salesman, 1991
benjamin harker

Life's a banquet, his son had to beam, / and most sons of bitches are starving.

17 May 2025

a coming out guide for brave maps
brandon goletzski

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

17 May 2025

poem: van de graaff, 1990
benjamin harker

At height on a plastic box, / feet off earth, your hand / spanned that chromy globe

15 May 2025

poem: fleisch, 1989
benjamin harker

One day in German, blond arrogant boy, / you engaged me unexpectedly. / Before too long I punched your nose,

13 May 2025

do maps disown the p word?
lecter

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

13 May 2025

poem: a theft, 1988
benjamin harker

It was only a stolen kiss, / on the cheek, snaffled by darting in / over your shoulder, during registration, / while you talked to your friend,

12 May 2025

map fallacy 2: porn fallacy
bly

Why do people believe that all MAPs use illegal material?

11 May 2025

poem: ants, 1986
benjamin harker

There was something familiar / about the way you milled, accelerated / when that little playground rock / was first upturned

10 May 2025

map fallacy 1: molester fallacy
bly

Why do people believe that all MAPs are child molesters when it isn't true?

9 May 2025

poem: adored
benjamin harker

A poem to a life love

8 May 2025

the map fallacy: introduction
bly

Introduction to a series of posts looking at popular myths about pedophiles/MAPs

7 May 2025

poem: brian, 1981
benjamin harker

Brian had something / I did not / a lump

6 May 2025

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk
bly

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

6 May 2025

on mary oliver's wild geese
james peak

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

5 May 2025

poem: little knot, 1983
benjamin harker

Three fingers are the promises, Akela said, taking a finger of his own and swirling it around the circle of my thumb and little finger

4 May 2025

two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another
bly

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

3 May 2025

poem: earliest memory, 1977
benjamin harker

I only have as negatives / yellow/navy baby reins

2 May 2025

the rest of the list
bly

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

2 May 2025

nitro in person
py

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

1 May 2025

poem: glass door, 1983
benjamin harker

And I, a head full of bricks, swung thoughtless / around the top post, through the gap, crashed / through the surface of that great, glass, perpendicular sea.

30 April 2025

in april, i open my bill
benjamin harker

Paedophiles do not pursue the lives of cuckoos purposefully. We begin loved and welcomed. We are babies, then children and we grow up alongside you.

29 April 2025

good freaks and good friends
charlie keyes

In my mid-twenties. I found VirPed. I read words that were my thoughts, and my experiences. And I cannot express how good that felt.

23 April 2025

nitro: a community says goodbye
virped members

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

22 April 2025

lawful good: writing a nomap character
tom jones

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

15 April 2025

nitro's final thoughts
nitro

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

8 April 2025

mouse trapped: i was channel 4's masked pedophile
anonymous

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

1 April 2025

is pedophilia an orientation or a disorder?
bly

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.

I didn’t sleep and, trapped in January 1994 in Stepney, in a single Victorian room, / I reached for a timetable

a dark poem from a dark place

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

Life's a banquet, his son had to beam, / and most sons of bitches are starving.

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

At height on a plastic box, / feet off earth, your hand / spanned that chromy globe

One day in German, blond arrogant boy, / you engaged me unexpectedly. / Before too long I punched your nose,

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

It was only a stolen kiss, / on the cheek, snaffled by darting in / over your shoulder, during registration, / while you talked to your friend,

Why do people believe that all MAPs use illegal material?

There was something familiar / about the way you milled, accelerated / when that little playground rock / was first upturned

Why do people believe that all MAPs are child molesters when it isn't true?

A poem to a life love

Introduction to a series of posts looking at popular myths about pedophiles/MAPs

Brian had something / I did not / a lump

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

Three fingers are the promises, Akela said, taking a finger of his own and swirling it around the circle of my thumb and little finger

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

I only have as negatives / yellow/navy baby reins

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

And I, a head full of bricks, swung thoughtless / around the top post, through the gap, crashed / through the surface of that great, glass, perpendicular sea.

Paedophiles do not pursue the lives of cuckoos purposefully. We begin loved and welcomed. We are babies, then children and we grow up alongside you.

In my mid-twenties. I found VirPed. I read words that were my thoughts, and my experiences. And I cannot express how good that felt.

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.

the p word is a collection of 322 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children.

Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated.

Our side of the conversation continues here.

editor at the p word net

Except where stated, all images are AI and do not depict real people

the p word is a collection of 322 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children.

Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated.

Our side of the conversation continues here.

editor at the p word net

Except where stated, all images are AI and do not depict real people