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Review of The Pedophile, a novel by Robin Murarka Daniel Amber, the rich and brilliant Chief Technology Officer for a multimillion-dollar Wall Street corporation, suddenly and unexpectedly quits his job at the height of his success to start a fledgling non-profit. Why? The answer is that he is the title character in Robin Murarka’s remarkable and perceptive novel The Pedophile.
Murarka creates a uniquely realistic, moving portrayal of an anguished and despairing man with a devastating secret, a secret that no amount of alcohol or self-mutilation can cure or erase. Unable to live in isolation, and aware of the suffering all around him Daniel audaciously uses his millions to fund The Association for Pedophile Reconditioning, knowing full well that it might cost him everything, including his life.
For those of us who share Daniel’s condition, The Pedophile is not always an easy read. Initially the reader dreads the seemingly inevitable reveal of illegal and immoral behavior, but Murarka has higher aims than titillation and the simple rage-baiting most of us have learned to expect. Daniel suffers, but has the means and courage to believe that a better world should exist. For Daniel, "pedophilia is not a death sentence. It’s just a condition – a condition like any other. We need support. We need help. It isn’t that mysterious. Or at least, it shouldn’t be."
Instead the novel carefully explores the development of an obsession, and the accommodations and defenses needed to live in an pitiless, unsympathetic world. Is Daniel a hero or anti-hero? Can money and will allow him to break out of the “predatory child molester” straitjacket the modern world wants and expects from him? How can he earn the trust of fellow sufferers accustomed to a world of pitiless judgement?
Daniel knows vodka is slowly killing him but “the idea that I can cope with this sober is ridiculous. It’s a ridiculous expectation. "How is one supposed to cope with this? To have all their faculties banging against a world that hates them . . . I don’t even if I hate myself for my needs or because of how everyone else makes me feel." A few paragraphs later our protagonist says, "I am so exhausted. I am so exhausted of hating myself. Of the loathsome ache. Of the constant negativity. No respite. But I fight through it... I am trying so hard to be good."
This brave novel asks the hard, pertinent questions. What does ethical treatment for pedophiles look like? How can trust be earned with a demonized and despised minority? How to handle the negative, sensationalized publicity any attempt to humanize minor attraction inevitably inspires. And perhaps the hardest and most painful question of all: can a preferential pedophile ever hope to find stable, loving relationships in a world of ignorance and suspicion?
The novel is unsparing but wise, and beautifully written. Other characters, including unscrupulous journalists, fellow sufferers, and AFPR clinicians are presented sympathetically and realistically. Sharply written dialog crackles and burns. How often can you say that about a novel about pedophilia?
Daniel is the protagonist many of us yearn for. Cleverly plotted and unpredictable, The Pedophile is a suspenseful journey into a dark world, but its humanity and empathy shine a bright and vivid light into that hidden place in the soul where shame and despair vie with courage and grace. It will take its place with Death in Venice as a landmark portrayal of the pedophilic mind.
About the author: I am a retired psychiatrist. My current professional interest is to enhance the safety and welfare of children by supporting other minor attracted persons (MAPs) in their pursuit of a satisfying, virtuous life. I have written a memoir, Stupid Brain, and recently published a self-help book entitled A Map for MAPs. Both books are available for free download at amapformaps.com, which also contains a link to purchase digital and physical copies.
The Pedophile is available now. Find out more at the book's GoodReads page | |
