thepword



a place where we can say it

 
 
 

pedophiles who don't excuse child sexual abuse

 

i'm a pedophile, but not a monster

 

the non-offending pedophile

   

the p word

1 Jan 2025 - What is this website? A place where you can hear a voice that is rarely allowed to speak. But people who love free speech do not love ours.

 

todd nickerson

21 Sep 2015 - I'm attracted to children but unwilling to act on it. Before judging me harshly, would you be willing to listen?

 

ender

5 Oct 2015 - Too many people still refuse to acknowledge the difference between pedophile and child molester. They judge people for feelings they didn't choose.

 
 
 
 
 
pedophiles who don't excuse child sexual abuse
the p word

1 Jan 2025 - What is this website? A place where you can hear a voice that is rarely allowed to speak. But people who love free speech do not love ours.

 
 
 
i'm a pedophile, but not a monster
todd nickerson

21 Sep 2015 - I'm attracted to children but unwilling to act on it. Before judging me harshly, would you be willing to listen?

 
 
 
the non-offending pedophile
ender

5 Oct 2015 - Too many people still refuse to acknowledge the difference between pedophile and child molester. They judge people for feelings they didn't choose.

 
 
 
 
 

not a question of guilt

 

a coming out guide for brave maps

 

do maps disown the p word?

   

iceground

20 May 2025 - At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

 

brandon goletzski

17 May 2025 - People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

 

lecter

13 May 2025 - Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

 
 
 
 
 
not a question of guilt
iceground

20 May 2025 - At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

 
 
 
a coming out guide for brave maps
brandon goletzski

17 May 2025 - People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

 
 
 
do maps disown the p word?
lecter

13 May 2025 - Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

 
 
 
 
 

a strange and terrible unicorn

 

comfortably numb

 

we have to protect children, even the ones you hate

   

emma artless

1 Jan 2018 - The musings of a non-offending, female pedophile

 

ender

21 Jun 2016 - a journey through realization, despair, lethargy, awakening and acceptance

 

bly

1 Dec 2019 - A group of adolescents, many thousands strong, are struggling with self-hatred and fear, and most people don't think that's a problem.

 
 
 
 
 
a strange and terrible unicorn
emma artless

1 Jan 2018 - The musings of a non-offending, female pedophile

 
 
 
comfortably numb
ender

21 Jun 2016 - a journey through realization, despair, lethargy, awakening and acceptance

 
 
 
we have to protect children, even the ones you hate
bly

1 Dec 2019 - A group of adolescents, many thousands strong, are struggling with self-hatred and fear, and most people don't think that's a problem.

 
 
 
 
 

the night i said the p word

 

star trek, me, and pedophilia

 

life is not a decision: a pedophile parent

   

rakkaus keksit

25 Feb 2025 - I’d agreed to meet my long-time friend one last time before I left. I hadn’t taken into account hash or female intuition.

 

leonard johnston

8 May 2022 - You can learn a lot about me from Star Trek. It's shaped my perception of myself and my pedophilia.

 

charlie keyes

25 Mar 2025 - I decided, with every factor in play, that above all, I was going to be a damned good parent

 
 
 
 
 
the night i said the p word
rakkaus keksit

25 Feb 2025 - I’d agreed to meet my long-time friend one last time before I left. I hadn’t taken into account hash or female intuition.

 
 
 
star trek, me, and pedophilia
leonard johnston

8 May 2022 - You can learn a lot about me from Star Trek. It's shaped my perception of myself and my pedophilia.

 
 
 
life is not a decision: a pedophile parent
charlie keyes

25 Mar 2025 - I decided, with every factor in play, that above all, I was going to be a damned good parent

 
 
 
 
 

map fallacy 2: porn fallacy

 

map fallacy 1: molester fallacy

 

the map fallacy: introduction

   

bly

12 May 2025 - Why do people believe that all MAPs use illegal material?

 

bly

10 May 2025 - Why do people believe that all MAPs are child molesters when it isn't true?

 

bly

8 May 2025 - Introduction to a series of posts looking at popular myths about pedophiles/MAPs

 
 
 
 
 
map fallacy 2: porn fallacy
bly

12 May 2025 - Why do people believe that all MAPs use illegal material?

 
 
 
map fallacy 1: molester fallacy
bly

10 May 2025 - Why do people believe that all MAPs are child molesters when it isn't true?

 
 
 
the map fallacy: introduction
bly

8 May 2025 - Introduction to a series of posts looking at popular myths about pedophiles/MAPs

 
 
 
 
 

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk

 

two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another

 

the rest of the list

   

bly

6 May 2025 - We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

 

bly

4 May 2025 - Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

 

bly

2 May 2025 - A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

 
 
 
 
 
never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk
bly

6 May 2025 - We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

 
 
 
two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another
bly

4 May 2025 - Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

 
 
 
the rest of the list
bly

2 May 2025 - A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

 
 
 
 
 

nitro's final thoughts

 

nitro: a community says goodbye

 

nitro in person

   

nitro

15 Apr 2025 - I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

 

virped members

23 Apr 2025 - Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

 

py

2 May 2025 - He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

 
 
 
 
 
nitro's final thoughts
nitro

15 Apr 2025 - I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

 
 
 
nitro: a community says goodbye
virped members

23 Apr 2025 - Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

 
 
 
nitro in person
py

2 May 2025 - He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

 
 
 
 
 

and on that day, i knew what i was

 

your mind changes you

 

married to a map

   

brett daywalker

2 Oct 2018 - The second that explanation finished leaving her mouth, I knew it. I knew that's what I was and what I was becoming. Now I had word for it.

 

jakob

7 May 2018 - I was a very confused teenager, and I actually went from being straight in my own mind to being gay. And, you know, then being a pedophile...

 

bruce and gina

11 Sep 2018 - As soon as she couldn't handle it, I was like, no, I'm done. Uh, this won't work, nice try, I'm gonna pull out, and I left.

 
 
 
 
 
and on that day, i knew what i was
brett daywalker

2 Oct 2018 - The second that explanation finished leaving her mouth, I knew it. I knew that's what I was and what I was becoming. Now I had word for it.

 
 
 
your mind changes you
jakob

7 May 2018 - I was a very confused teenager, and I actually went from being straight in my own mind to being gay. And, you know, then being a pedophile...

 
 
 
married to a map
bruce and gina

11 Sep 2018 - As soon as she couldn't handle it, I was like, no, I'm done. Uh, this won't work, nice try, I'm gonna pull out, and I left.

 
 
 
 
 

poem: winter visit, 1994

 

poem: mole, 1991

 

poem: a salesman, 1991

   

benjamin harker

23 May 2025 - I didn’t sleep and, trapped in January 1994 in Stepney, in a single Victorian room, / I reached for a timetable

 

benjamin harker

21 May 2025 - a dark poem from a dark place

 

benjamin harker

19 May 2025 - Life's a banquet, his son had to beam, / and most sons of bitches are starving.

 
 
 
 
 
poem: winter visit, 1994
benjamin harker

23 May 2025 - I didn’t sleep and, trapped in January 1994 in Stepney, in a single Victorian room, / I reached for a timetable

 
 
 
poem: mole, 1991
benjamin harker

21 May 2025 - a dark poem from a dark place

 
 
 
poem: a salesman, 1991
benjamin harker

19 May 2025 - Life's a banquet, his son had to beam, / and most sons of bitches are starving.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

the p word is a collection of 322 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children.

Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated.

Our side of the conversation continues here.

editor at the p word net

Except where stated, all images are AI and do not depict real people

 


 

the p word is a collection of 322 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children.

Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated.

Our side of the conversation continues here.

editor at the p word net

Except where stated, all images are AI and do not depict real people

Download the whole site






 
 
 
  

23 May 2025

poem: winter visit, 1994
benjamin harker

I didn’t sleep and, trapped in January 1994 in Stepney, in a single Victorian room, / I reached for a timetable

 
 
 
 
  

21 May 2025

poem: mole, 1991
benjamin harker

a dark poem from a dark place

 
 
 
 
  

20 May 2025

not a question of guilt
iceground

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

 
 
 
 
  

19 May 2025

poem: a salesman, 1991
benjamin harker

Life's a banquet, his son had to beam, / and most sons of bitches are starving.

 
 
 
 
  

17 May 2025

a coming out guide for brave maps
brandon goletzski

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

 
 
 
 
  

17 May 2025

poem: van de graaff, 1990
benjamin harker

At height on a plastic box, / feet off earth, your hand / spanned that chromy globe

 
 
 
 
  

15 May 2025

poem: fleisch, 1989
benjamin harker

One day in German, blond arrogant boy, / you engaged me unexpectedly. / Before too long I punched your nose,

 
 
 
 
  

13 May 2025

do maps disown the p word?
lecter

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

 
 
 
 
  

13 May 2025

poem: a theft, 1988
benjamin harker

It was only a stolen kiss, / on the cheek, snaffled by darting in / over your shoulder, during registration, / while you talked to your friend,

 
 
 
 
  

12 May 2025

map fallacy 2: porn fallacy
bly

Why do people believe that all MAPs use illegal material?

 
 
 
 
  

11 May 2025

poem: ants, 1986
benjamin harker

There was something familiar / about the way you milled, accelerated / when that little playground rock / was first upturned

 
 
 
 
  

10 May 2025

map fallacy 1: molester fallacy
bly

Why do people believe that all MAPs are child molesters when it isn't true?

 
 
 
 
  

9 May 2025

poem: adored
benjamin harker

A poem to a life love

 
 
 
 
  

8 May 2025

the map fallacy: introduction
bly

Introduction to a series of posts looking at popular myths about pedophiles/MAPs

 
 
 
 
  

7 May 2025

poem: brian, 1981
benjamin harker

Brian had something / I did not / a lump

 
 
 
 
  

6 May 2025

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk
bly

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

 
 
 
 
  

6 May 2025

on mary oliver's wild geese
james peak

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

 
 
 
 
  

5 May 2025

poem: little knot, 1983
benjamin harker

Three fingers are the promises, Akela said, taking a finger of his own and swirling it around the circle of my thumb and little finger

 
 
 
 
  

4 May 2025

two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another
bly

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

 
 
 
 
  

3 May 2025

poem: earliest memory, 1977
benjamin harker

I only have as negatives / yellow/navy baby reins

 
 
 
 
  

2 May 2025

the rest of the list
bly

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

 
 
 
 
  

2 May 2025

nitro in person
py

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

 
 
 
 
  

1 May 2025

poem: glass door, 1983
benjamin harker

And I, a head full of bricks, swung thoughtless / around the top post, through the gap, crashed / through the surface of that great, glass, perpendicular sea.

 
 
 
 
  

30 April 2025

in april, i open my bill
benjamin harker

Paedophiles do not pursue the lives of cuckoos purposefully. We begin loved and welcomed. We are babies, then children and we grow up alongside you.

 
 
 
 
  

29 April 2025

good freaks and good friends
charlie keyes

In my mid-twenties. I found VirPed. I read words that were my thoughts, and my experiences. And I cannot express how good that felt.

 
 
 
 
  

23 April 2025

nitro: a community says goodbye
virped members

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

 
 
 
 
  

22 April 2025

lawful good: writing a nomap character
tom jones

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

 
 
 
 
  

15 April 2025

nitro's final thoughts
nitro

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

 
 
 
 
  

8 April 2025

mouse trapped: i was channel 4's masked pedophile
anonymous

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

 
 
 
 
  

1 April 2025

is pedophilia an orientation or a disorder?
bly

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
23 May 2025

poem: winter visit, 1994
benjamin harker

I didn’t sleep and, trapped in January 1994 in Stepney, in a single Victorian room, / I reached for a timetable

 
 
 
21 May 2025

poem: mole, 1991
benjamin harker

a dark poem from a dark place

 
 
 
20 May 2025

not a question of guilt
iceground

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

 
 
 
19 May 2025

poem: a salesman, 1991
benjamin harker

Life's a banquet, his son had to beam, / and most sons of bitches are starving.

 
 
 
17 May 2025

a coming out guide for brave maps
brandon goletzski

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

 
 
 
17 May 2025

poem: van de graaff, 1990
benjamin harker

At height on a plastic box, / feet off earth, your hand / spanned that chromy globe

 
 
 
15 May 2025

poem: fleisch, 1989
benjamin harker

One day in German, blond arrogant boy, / you engaged me unexpectedly. / Before too long I punched your nose,

 
 
 
13 May 2025

do maps disown the p word?
lecter

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

 
 
 
13 May 2025

poem: a theft, 1988
benjamin harker

It was only a stolen kiss, / on the cheek, snaffled by darting in / over your shoulder, during registration, / while you talked to your friend,

 
 
 
12 May 2025

map fallacy 2: porn fallacy
bly

Why do people believe that all MAPs use illegal material?

 
 
 
11 May 2025

poem: ants, 1986
benjamin harker

There was something familiar / about the way you milled, accelerated / when that little playground rock / was first upturned

 
 
 
10 May 2025

map fallacy 1: molester fallacy
bly

Why do people believe that all MAPs are child molesters when it isn't true?

 
 
 
9 May 2025

poem: adored
benjamin harker

A poem to a life love

 
 
 
8 May 2025

the map fallacy: introduction
bly

Introduction to a series of posts looking at popular myths about pedophiles/MAPs

 
 
 
7 May 2025

poem: brian, 1981
benjamin harker

Brian had something / I did not / a lump

 
 
 
6 May 2025

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk
bly

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

 
 
 
6 May 2025

on mary oliver's wild geese
james peak

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

 
 
 
5 May 2025

poem: little knot, 1983
benjamin harker

Three fingers are the promises, Akela said, taking a finger of his own and swirling it around the circle of my thumb and little finger

 
 
 
4 May 2025

two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another
bly

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

 
 
 
3 May 2025

poem: earliest memory, 1977
benjamin harker

I only have as negatives / yellow/navy baby reins

 
 
 
2 May 2025

the rest of the list
bly

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

 
 
 
2 May 2025

nitro in person
py

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

 
 
 
1 May 2025

poem: glass door, 1983
benjamin harker

And I, a head full of bricks, swung thoughtless / around the top post, through the gap, crashed / through the surface of that great, glass, perpendicular sea.

 
 
 
30 April 2025

in april, i open my bill
benjamin harker

Paedophiles do not pursue the lives of cuckoos purposefully. We begin loved and welcomed. We are babies, then children and we grow up alongside you.

 
 
 
29 April 2025

good freaks and good friends
charlie keyes

In my mid-twenties. I found VirPed. I read words that were my thoughts, and my experiences. And I cannot express how good that felt.

 
 
 
23 April 2025

nitro: a community says goodbye
virped members

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

 
 
 
22 April 2025

lawful good: writing a nomap character
tom jones

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

 
 
 
15 April 2025

nitro's final thoughts
nitro

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

 
 
 
8 April 2025

mouse trapped: i was channel 4's masked pedophile
anonymous

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

 
 
 
1 April 2025

is pedophilia an orientation or a disorder?
bly

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.