Brian had something / I did not / a lump

His face is missing
I have only his bottom
in sky blue y-fronts

turned toward me
while we changed
into native american smocks

It was the play
my first so I
prepared without fear

Brian had something
I did not
a lump

as we expected
in his pants
again

ending his performance
returning him
to the teacher’s hands

He’s disgraced himself
Mrs Dennis said
pursed and high up

giving me
a new phrase
and a desire

to go wrong
to disgrace myself too
unload like Brian

but I followed my line
like he followed his
and filed into the hall

where

with dumb-eyed grace
I acquitted myself
instead

the p word is a collection of 309 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children. Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated. Our side of the conversation continues here.

editor at the p word net | Except where stated, all images are AI and do not depict real people. | Download the whole site.

poem: little knot, 1983

poem: glass door, 1983

poem: earliest memory, 1977

benjamin harker

Three fingers are the promises, Akela said, taking a finger of his own and swirling it around the circle of my thumb and little finger

benjamin harker

And I, a head full of bricks, swung thoughtless / around the top post, through the gap, crashed / through the surface of that great, glass, perpendicular sea.

benjamin harker

I only have as negatives / yellow/navy baby reins

Three fingers are the promises, Akela said, taking a finger of his own and swirling it around the circle of my thumb and little finger

And I, a head full of bricks, swung thoughtless / around the top post, through the gap, crashed / through the surface of that great, glass, perpendicular sea.

I only have as negatives / yellow/navy baby reins