People say that all we want to do is rape children. But this doesn't describe us well.

Bly Rede is a former co-director of Virtuous Pedophiles. Blog posts reflect his personal views, and are not statements from the organisation.

We are often accused of desiring to rape on the basis our fantasies are about someone who can't consent.

The second part is right.

But imagine this scenario:

Person 1 is standing outside a shop and has fallen in love with an item of clothing in the display. >

She would love to have it but can't afford it, and knows nobody who could afford it.

She sometimes has an idle daydream about just sneakily taking it while nobody's looking.

But she lets that daydream go and gets on with her day, her week, her life. It isn't to be. >

> There's another person, Person 2.

Person 2 has kleptomania, which is compulsive and longstanding and he has stolen many times before.

Person 2 steals because he's addicted to the thrill, and although he knows it's wrong, and feels guilty, just keeps on.

BOTH people have >

> “desires to steal", even though there's no moral way they can act on those thoughts.

Person 1 would never have stolen: Person 2 pretty much can't help it.

THIS is how much difference there can be between any two people that our society brackets together as >

> "pedophiles", that is, people who entertain sexual thoughts about children.

For some, it's only ever an easy-to-ignore thought, for others an obsession that absent impulse control they will act on.

But we only ever hear about Person 2. Would you ban Person 1 from shops? >

Yes, she can't be trusted
20%

No, she's fine in shops
80%

50 votes · Final results

> Before anyone else points it out: children are not pieces of clothing and the consequences of sexual abuse are far worse than any theft.

But the point of the metaphor is that for Person 1 *theft never happens*.

And, yes, cases occur where there's no legal offence but >

> an adult's emotional overinvolvement with a child becomes uncomfortable or even abusive - a scenario not covered by my analogy.

But the latter is not peculiar to pedophiles, and it is not a property of pedophilia.

It needn't happen any more than offending does. I say >

> that most pedophiles can understand and abide by safeguarding best practice.

Any adult who can't, pedophile or not, shouldn't be working with or in charge of kids.

But >

> this is the problem: people cannot conceive that any pedophile can ever have a healthy, appropriate relationship with a child.

This ignores the socially invisible reality of tens of thousands of NOMAPs who do just that every day, everywhere.

This content was removed from Twitter in 2020 because the author's account was suspended.

the p word is a collection of 293 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children. Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from mainstream social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated. Our side of the conversation continues here.

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review of erotic innocence by james kincaid

celibate pedophiles spending time with children

thread: how does a pedophile not become an abuser?

ethan edwards

Kincaid thinks we should go back to hugging kids and playing with them without worrying obsessively. But he then adds, curiously, "if you find yourself getting too excited, going too far, wanting to incite or not to stop — then stop."

ethan edwards

Pedophiles live in the wide world, and children live in the wide world, and they're bound to be in the same place sometimes.

bly rede

Pedophiles have different starting points and end with differing beliefs and behaviours. What do we know about why?

Kincaid thinks we should go back to hugging kids and playing with them without worrying obsessively. But he then adds, curiously, "if you find yourself getting too excited, going too far, wanting to incite or not to stop — then stop."

Pedophiles live in the wide world, and children live in the wide world, and they're bound to be in the same place sometimes.

Pedophiles have different starting points and end with differing beliefs and behaviours. What do we know about why?