2 of 3. Pedophilia is so highly stigmatized that it is a very rare dating partner who would learn of your attraction and continue dating you.

This item is part of a special series of posts. I first started communicating with other pedophiles online in a major way when Virtuous Pedophiles went online in June of 2012. This series of 'Surprise' posts is of a few key things I've learned since then that I did not know before.

The classic lament about celibate pedophiles is that we can never know love or satisfying sex. But many of us, perhaps a majority, are non-exclusive. We can have short-term sexual relations with adults if we want. Even when the attraction is decidedly iffy, we can also get involved with partners where we perform sexually but aren't really into it. Gay men and lesbians have done this in heterosexual relationships, especially in times and places where homosexuality was severely stigmatized. It was far from ideal, but it often worked.

There are also some partners who identify as asexual and are happy to be in a relationship with no sex. The rewards from relationships are about far more than sex.

The biggest problem is something else: pedophilia is so highly stigmatized that it is a very rare dating partner who would learn of your attraction and continue dating you. So if you are aware of your pedophilia and consider it a big part of your identity, and don't want to keep big secrets from your partner, your chances are very poor.

Pedophiles who do form such relationships seem to be of two basic types: those who don't mind a relationship with big secrets, and those who haven't admitted to themselves that they really are pedophiles when they get involved. Over 300 women have written to VP having discovered their husband or boyfriend is a pedophile. One reaction they have never reported to me is the man shrugging and saying, "I'm comfortable with it and I just hoped you'd never find out."

Of course there are those who feel absolutely no sexual desire for adults, but it is this other large group that is held back by stigma that surprised me.

This content was taken from Ethan's longstanding blog, Celibate Pedophiles. Some of the titles and taglines have been edited for their inclusion at thepword.

You can see an earlier version of the blog at the wayback machine.

This content was removed from blogspot in 2020 because the platform banned the author's account, giving only a vague reason.

the p word is a collection of 256 articles, blogs and podcasts in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children. Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from mainstream social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated. Our side of the conversation continues here.

editor at the p word net | All images are AI and do not depict real people.

surprise: lots of good pedophiles look at cp

surprise: what of two 13-year-olds having sex?

surprise: why no adult relationships? it's stigma, not lack of desire

ethan edwards

1 of 3. This series of Surprise posts is of a few key things I've learned since then that I did not know before.

ethan edwards

3. of 3. I'm in favor of letting teleiophiles (ordinary folks) figure out the right age of consent. They don't have a vested interest in the outcome.

ethan edwards

2 of 3. Pedophilia is so highly stigmatized that it is a very rare dating partner who would learn of your attraction and continue dating you.

1 of 3. This series of Surprise posts is of a few key things I've learned since then that I did not know before.

3. of 3. I'm in favor of letting teleiophiles (ordinary folks) figure out the right age of consent. They don't have a vested interest in the outcome.

2 of 3. Pedophilia is so highly stigmatized that it is a very rare dating partner who would learn of your attraction and continue dating you.