It's hard to come out to regular people, but it can even be hard to come out to another pedophile.

In my 20s, I came out as MAP to a friend who I believed to be MAP and who initially seemed to signal that I was right.

But then he backed off, talked about it as my problem, something that he couldn't help with. Both were probably true but I felt so abandoned.

Then, worse... >

> some years later I found myself in the reversed role, with a younger friend who told me that he had these feelings too.

But by then I had a career, reasons why anyone knowing would be terrifying. When he asked me if I was MAP, I denied it, despite knowing I was.

Since then >

> another decade on, someone else in the same situation as me in his 20s asked me the same question, and after some squirming I knew it would be wrong to make him feel alone when he wasn't.

So I fessed up and it catapaulted me into finally joining the ACMAP community.

This >

> has complicated my life further. I still have things to lose and life seems more dangerous.

But I am not alone, and being among others in the same situation has allowed me to learn, assess, discover and find acceptance I never thought possible.

I hope I always have the >

> bravery in future to reach out and offer the same to younger MAPs who really need to tell someone, and never leave someone feeling more isolated, regretting the most difficult honesty they had to show. ::

This content was removed from Twitter in 2020 because the author's account was suspended.

the p word is a collection of 317 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children. Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated. Our side of the conversation continues here.

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The received wisdom for some time has been that looking at CP makes it more likely that a pedophile will offend against a child. When men who have committed a contact offense are interviewed, they often describe CP viewing as part of the process that led up to the offense. But there is no evidence of...

Making CP is an example of child sex abuse and is rightly criminal for that reason. But the harm caused by viewing it is much less clear.

They said: There's no representation for MAPs. It's sex offenders, it's victims of sexual assault—so the stories they gave me ended up in this book.