pedophiles who don't excuse child sexual abuse

i'm a pedophile, but not a monster

the non-offending pedophile

the p word

1 Jan 2025 - What is this website? A place where you can hear a voice that is rarely allowed to speak. But people who love free speech do not love ours.

todd nickerson

21 Sep 2015 - I'm attracted to children but unwilling to act on it. Before judging me harshly, would you be willing to listen?

ender

5 Oct 2015 - Too many people still refuse to acknowledge the difference between pedophile and child molester. They judge people for feelings they didn't choose.

1 Jan 2025 - What is this website? A place where you can hear a voice that is rarely allowed to speak. But people who love free speech do not love ours.

21 Sep 2015 - I'm attracted to children but unwilling to act on it. Before judging me harshly, would you be willing to listen?

5 Oct 2015 - Too many people still refuse to acknowledge the difference between pedophile and child molester. They judge people for feelings they didn't choose.

the rough country: finding mental health support

poem: oven

when i chose pedophilia

iris

24 Jun 2025 - We are human. Why is it so hard to find mental health professionals who can see that?

brandon goletzski

21 Jun 2025 - the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)

anonymous

17 Jun 2025 - When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?

24 Jun 2025 - We are human. Why is it so hard to find mental health professionals who can see that?

21 Jun 2025 - the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)

17 Jun 2025 - When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?

a strange and terrible unicorn

comfortably numb

we have to protect children, even the ones you hate

emma artless

1 Jan 2018 - The musings of a non-offending, female pedophile

ender

21 Jun 2016 - a journey through realization, despair, lethargy, awakening and acceptance

bly

1 Dec 2019 - A group of adolescents, many thousands strong, are struggling with self-hatred and fear, and most people don't think that's a problem.

1 Jan 2018 - The musings of a non-offending, female pedophile

21 Jun 2016 - a journey through realization, despair, lethargy, awakening and acceptance

1 Dec 2019 - A group of adolescents, many thousands strong, are struggling with self-hatred and fear, and most people don't think that's a problem.

the night i said the p word

star trek, me, and pedophilia

life is not a decision: a pedophile parent

rakkaus keksit

25 Feb 2025 - I’d agreed to meet my long-time friend one last time before I left. I hadn’t taken into account hash or female intuition.

leonard johnston

8 May 2022 - You can learn a lot about me from Star Trek. It's shaped my perception of myself and my pedophilia.

charlie keyes

25 Mar 2025 - I decided, with every factor in play, that above all, I was going to be a damned good parent

25 Feb 2025 - I’d agreed to meet my long-time friend one last time before I left. I hadn’t taken into account hash or female intuition.

8 May 2022 - You can learn a lot about me from Star Trek. It's shaped my perception of myself and my pedophilia.

25 Mar 2025 - I decided, with every factor in play, that above all, I was going to be a damned good parent

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk

two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another

the rest of the list

bly

6 May 2025 - We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

bly

4 May 2025 - Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

bly

2 May 2025 - A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

6 May 2025 - We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

4 May 2025 - Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

2 May 2025 - A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

nitro's final thoughts

nitro: a community says goodbye

nitro in person

nitro

15 Apr 2025 - I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

virped members

23 Apr 2025 - Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

py

2 May 2025 - He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

15 Apr 2025 - I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

23 Apr 2025 - Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

2 May 2025 - He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

and on that day, i knew what i was

your mind changes you

married to a map

brett daywalker

2 Oct 2018 - The second that explanation finished leaving her mouth, I knew it. I knew that's what I was and what I was becoming. Now I had word for it.

jakob

7 May 2018 - I was a very confused teenager, and I actually went from being straight in my own mind to being gay. And, you know, then being a pedophile...

bruce and gina

11 Sep 2018 - As soon as she couldn't handle it, I was like, no, I'm done. Uh, this won't work, nice try, I'm gonna pull out, and I left.

2 Oct 2018 - The second that explanation finished leaving her mouth, I knew it. I knew that's what I was and what I was becoming. Now I had word for it.

7 May 2018 - I was a very confused teenager, and I actually went from being straight in my own mind to being gay. And, you know, then being a pedophile...

11 Sep 2018 - As soon as she couldn't handle it, I was like, no, I'm done. Uh, this won't work, nice try, I'm gonna pull out, and I left.

24 June 2025

the rough country: finding mental health support
iris

We are human. Why is it so hard to find mental health professionals who can see that?

21 June 2025

poem: oven
brandon goletzski

the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)

17 June 2025

when i chose pedophilia
anonymous

When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?

10 June 2025

chronologically wrong: a transage map
anonymous

Some MAPs have a strong concept of themselves as a child, which takes various forms. Someone identifying as transage explains how it feels.

3 June 2025

every day, forever
hula

Being a MAP is a large and constant part of the equation. Not a day goes by when I don't think about the fact that I'm attracted to children. If I weren't so active in online MAP communities, my attraction to children would weigh on my mind a lot more.

27 May 2025

double life
anonymous

One life was lived as a heterosexual non-pedophile and the other as a bisexual pedophile. I didn’t want to just break it off with her, as I didn’t want to hurt her. So, we got married.

20 May 2025

not a question of guilt
iceground

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

17 May 2025

a coming out guide for brave maps
brandon goletzski

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

13 May 2025

do maps disown the p word?
lecter

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

6 May 2025

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk
bly

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

6 May 2025

on mary oliver's wild geese
james peak

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

4 May 2025

two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another
bly

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

2 May 2025

the rest of the list
bly

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

2 May 2025

nitro in person
py

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

29 April 2025

good freaks and good friends
charlie keyes

In my mid-twenties. I found VirPed. I read words that were my thoughts, and my experiences. And I cannot express how good that felt.

23 April 2025

nitro: a community says goodbye
virped members

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

22 April 2025

lawful good: writing a nomap character
tom jones

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

15 April 2025

nitro's final thoughts
nitro

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

8 April 2025

mouse trapped: i was channel 4's masked pedophile
anonymous

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

1 April 2025

is pedophilia an orientation or a disorder?
bly

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.

25 March 2025

life is not a decision: a pedophile parent
charlie keyes

I decided, with every factor in play, that above all, I was going to be a damned good parent

18 March 2025

caught between two stigmas
markus

I was sexually abused as a child. I am also sexually attracted to children. I wanted support for abuse survivors but was turned down. So where do people like me go?

11 March 2025

i didn't figure out i was a pedophile until my 50s
ethan edwards

Looking back, it was there from puberty, but I was interpreting it as the fondness many adults feel for children.

4 March 2025

two pedophiles; one moral binary; no dogs
bly

I'd give a lot for a crime-free thriller instead, but No Dogs Allowed tells a lot of truth about a young pedophile's life

25 February 2025

the night i said the p word
rakkaus keksit

I’d agreed to meet my long-time friend one last time before I left. I hadn’t taken into account hash or female intuition.

18 February 2025

a year of therapy
carolus magnus

When I started, I wanted that magic pill. I wanted the lobotomy that would pull this malignant sector of my brain out.

11 February 2025

a minor pedophile reached out... into the wild west
bly

So I sought out people like me. I would go on those sketchy teen/tween chat rooms, explaining that I was a minor looking for someone to talk to.

4 February 2025

no dogs allowed discussed by three pedophiles
markus

No Dogs Allowed dares to tell a realistic story about us and breaks with a false image that has been painted too often.

28 January 2025

review: no dogs allowed
py

A new film portrays the life of a teenager who discovers he is sexually attracted to children and how he tries to cope.

21 January 2025

review: manticore
rakkaus keksit

Disgraced director's film brings an elevated aesthetic to a contemporary tragedy of dark desires, but does it get the situation right?

We are human. Why is it so hard to find mental health professionals who can see that?

the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)

When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?

Some MAPs have a strong concept of themselves as a child, which takes various forms. Someone identifying as transage explains how it feels.

Being a MAP is a large and constant part of the equation. Not a day goes by when I don't think about the fact that I'm attracted to children. If I weren't so active in online MAP communities, my attraction to children would weigh on my mind a lot more.

One life was lived as a heterosexual non-pedophile and the other as a bisexual pedophile. I didn’t want to just break it off with her, as I didn’t want to hurt her. So, we got married.

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

In my mid-twenties. I found VirPed. I read words that were my thoughts, and my experiences. And I cannot express how good that felt.

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.

I decided, with every factor in play, that above all, I was going to be a damned good parent

I was sexually abused as a child. I am also sexually attracted to children. I wanted support for abuse survivors but was turned down. So where do people like me go?

Looking back, it was there from puberty, but I was interpreting it as the fondness many adults feel for children.

I'd give a lot for a crime-free thriller instead, but No Dogs Allowed tells a lot of truth about a young pedophile's life

I’d agreed to meet my long-time friend one last time before I left. I hadn’t taken into account hash or female intuition.

When I started, I wanted that magic pill. I wanted the lobotomy that would pull this malignant sector of my brain out.

So I sought out people like me. I would go on those sketchy teen/tween chat rooms, explaining that I was a minor looking for someone to talk to.

No Dogs Allowed dares to tell a realistic story about us and breaks with a false image that has been painted too often.

A new film portrays the life of a teenager who discovers he is sexually attracted to children and how he tries to cope.

Disgraced director's film brings an elevated aesthetic to a contemporary tragedy of dark desires, but does it get the situation right?