pedophiles who don't excuse child sexual abuse

i'm a pedophile, but not a monster

the non-offending pedophile

the p word

1 Jan 2025 - What is this website? A place where you can hear a voice that is rarely allowed to speak. But people who love free speech do not love ours.

todd nickerson

21 Sep 2015 - I'm attracted to children but unwilling to act on it. Before judging me harshly, would you be willing to listen?

ender

5 Oct 2015 - Too many people still refuse to acknowledge the difference between pedophile and child molester. They judge people for feelings they didn't choose.

1 Jan 2025 - What is this website? A place where you can hear a voice that is rarely allowed to speak. But people who love free speech do not love ours.

21 Sep 2015 - I'm attracted to children but unwilling to act on it. Before judging me harshly, would you be willing to listen?

5 Oct 2015 - Too many people still refuse to acknowledge the difference between pedophile and child molester. They judge people for feelings they didn't choose.

unique window

the therapy whirlpool

pretty good pedophiles

lukas

30 Oct 2025 - How could the thing I feared most end up being what liberated me? I am not a pedophile but I experienced "pedophile-themed" OCD. Meeting MAPs changed my life for the better.

pavvn

27 Sep 2025 - I'd like a therapist who can help me, and be aware of my pedophilia, one I can be honest with without evoking hurtful reactions. But I feel like I'm trying to swim out of a whirlpool.

ethan edwards

19 Aug 2025 - Pedophilia doesn't define you. If you don't molest children, under the Pretty Good Pedophiles Shield, you should live life without shame or fear.

30 Oct 2025 - How could the thing I feared most end up being what liberated me? I am not a pedophile but I experienced "pedophile-themed" OCD. Meeting MAPs changed my life for the better.

27 Sep 2025 - I'd like a therapist who can help me, and be aware of my pedophilia, one I can be honest with without evoking hurtful reactions. But I feel like I'm trying to swim out of a whirlpool.

19 Aug 2025 - Pedophilia doesn't define you. If you don't molest children, under the Pretty Good Pedophiles Shield, you should live life without shame or fear.

a strange and terrible unicorn

comfortably numb

we have to protect children, even the ones you hate

emma artless

1 Jan 2018 - The musings of a non-offending, female pedophile

ender

21 Jun 2016 - a journey through realization, despair, lethargy, awakening and acceptance

bly

1 Dec 2019 - A group of adolescents, many thousands strong, are struggling with self-hatred and fear, and most people don't think that's a problem.

1 Jan 2018 - The musings of a non-offending, female pedophile

21 Jun 2016 - a journey through realization, despair, lethargy, awakening and acceptance

1 Dec 2019 - A group of adolescents, many thousands strong, are struggling with self-hatred and fear, and most people don't think that's a problem.

what do pedophiles do?

star trek, me, and pedophilia

still a mother's son

ethan edwards

24 Jul 2014 - What is the best behaviour for pedophiles, given you don't like what we are?

leonard johnston

8 May 2022 - You can learn a lot about me from Star Trek. It's shaped my perception of myself and my pedophilia.

elliott bateman

25 Feb 2019 - What parents should know regarding MAP children, A MAP and his mother discuss his coming out process, his struggle with his attractions, and finding therapeutic support.

24 Jul 2014 - What is the best behaviour for pedophiles, given you don't like what we are?

8 May 2022 - You can learn a lot about me from Star Trek. It's shaped my perception of myself and my pedophilia.

25 Feb 2019 - What parents should know regarding MAP children, A MAP and his mother discuss his coming out process, his struggle with his attractions, and finding therapeutic support.

voices that are drowned

the first few years

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk

bly

22 Nov 2025 - Benjamin Britten - feted as a great composer, known to be attracted to boys, suspected of one rejected advance - can we claim him as a non-offending MAP?

bly

9 May 2025 - A longterm relationship between a non-exclusive pedophile and an unaware non-pedophile ends. Who is left owing what to whom?

bly

6 May 2025 - We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

22 Nov 2025 - Benjamin Britten - feted as a great composer, known to be attracted to boys, suspected of one rejected advance - can we claim him as a non-offending MAP?

9 May 2025 - A longterm relationship between a non-exclusive pedophile and an unaware non-pedophile ends. Who is left owing what to whom?

6 May 2025 - We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

nitro's final thoughts

nitro: a community says goodbye

nitro in person

nitro

15 Apr 2025 - I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

virped members

23 Apr 2025 - Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

py

2 May 2025 - He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

15 Apr 2025 - I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

23 Apr 2025 - Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

2 May 2025 - He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

autopedophilia and ageplay

your mind changes you

married to a map

bly

12 Feb 2020 - I would say the group I consider myself part of, is people who are emotionally or sexually drawn to the idea of identifying with or identifying as if a minor.

jakob

7 May 2018 - I was a very confused teenager, and I actually went from being straight in my own mind to being gay. And, you know, then being a pedophile...

bruce and gina

11 Sep 2018 - As soon as she couldn't handle it, I was like, no, I'm done. Uh, this won't work, nice try, I'm gonna pull out, and I left.

12 Feb 2020 - I would say the group I consider myself part of, is people who are emotionally or sexually drawn to the idea of identifying with or identifying as if a minor.

7 May 2018 - I was a very confused teenager, and I actually went from being straight in my own mind to being gay. And, you know, then being a pedophile...

11 Sep 2018 - As soon as she couldn't handle it, I was like, no, I'm done. Uh, this won't work, nice try, I'm gonna pull out, and I left.

22 November 2025

voices that are drowned
bly

Benjamin Britten - feted as a great composer, known to be attracted to boys, suspected of one rejected advance - can we claim him as a non-offending MAP?

30 October 2025

unique window
lukas

How could the thing I feared most end up being what liberated me? I am not a pedophile but I experienced "pedophile-themed" OCD. Meeting MAPs changed my life for the better.

27 September 2025

the therapy whirlpool
pavvn

I'd like a therapist who can help me, and be aware of my pedophilia, one I can be honest with without evoking hurtful reactions. But I feel like I'm trying to swim out of a whirlpool.

19 August 2025

pretty good pedophiles
ethan edwards

Pedophilia doesn't define you. If you don't molest children, under the Pretty Good Pedophiles Shield, you should live life without shame or fear.

22 July 2025

review: sparta (2022)
brizz

A study in repression, misguided redemption, and missed responsibility

15 July 2025

a pearl of great price
james peak

Pedophilia is almost unique in that it is widely seen more as a moral failing than a medical condition, which renders treatment pointless and detection/punishment as the default societal response

8 July 2025

my therapy: opening the record
win salisbury

I’ve long wanted to see my case notes from my psychoanalytically-based therapy at the NHS Portman Clinic in London, England, in the early 1970s, yet till this year I had put off asking for them.

1 July 2025

you may have heard i'm a pedophile. this is not an apology.
brandon goletzski

An open letter to my family, friends and community in the event that I am doxxed, outed, or choose to out myself. At present none of those things have happened, but if that happens, I will attach my real name to this piece.

21 June 2025

poem: oven
brandon goletzski

the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)

17 June 2025

when i chose pedophilia
anonymous

When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?

10 June 2025

chronologically wrong: a transage map
anonymous

Some MAPs have a strong concept of themselves as a child, which takes various forms. Someone identifying as transage explains how it feels.

3 June 2025

every day, forever
hula

Being a MAP is a large and constant part of the equation. Not a day goes by when I don't think about the fact that I'm attracted to children. If I weren't so active in online MAP communities, my attraction to children would weigh on my mind a lot more.

27 May 2025

double life
anonymous

One life was lived as a heterosexual non-pedophile and the other as a bisexual pedophile. I didn’t want to just break it off with her, as I didn’t want to hurt her. So, we got married.

20 May 2025

not a question of guilt
iceground

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

17 May 2025

a coming out guide for brave maps
brandon goletzski

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

13 May 2025

do maps disown the p word?
lecter

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

9 May 2025

the first few years
bly

A longterm relationship between a non-exclusive pedophile and an unaware non-pedophile ends. Who is left owing what to whom?

6 May 2025

never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk
bly

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

6 May 2025

on mary oliver's wild geese
james peak

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

4 May 2025

two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another
bly

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

2 May 2025

the rest of the list
bly

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

2 May 2025

nitro in person
py

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

23 April 2025

nitro: a community says goodbye
virped members

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

22 April 2025

lawful good: writing a nomap character
tom jones

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

15 April 2025

nitro's final thoughts
nitro

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

8 April 2025

mouse trapped: i was channel 4's masked pedophile
anonymous

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

1 April 2025

is pedophilia an orientation or a disorder?
bly

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.

18 March 2025

caught between two stigmas
markus

I was sexually abused as a child. I am also sexually attracted to children. I wanted support for abuse survivors but was turned down. So where do people like me go?

11 March 2025

i didn't figure out i was a pedophile until my 50s
ethan edwards

Looking back, it was there from puberty, but I was interpreting it as the fondness many adults feel for children.

4 March 2025

two pedophiles; one moral binary; no dogs
bly

I'd give a lot for a crime-free thriller instead, but No Dogs Allowed tells a lot of truth about a young pedophile's life

Benjamin Britten - feted as a great composer, known to be attracted to boys, suspected of one rejected advance - can we claim him as a non-offending MAP?

How could the thing I feared most end up being what liberated me? I am not a pedophile but I experienced "pedophile-themed" OCD. Meeting MAPs changed my life for the better.

I'd like a therapist who can help me, and be aware of my pedophilia, one I can be honest with without evoking hurtful reactions. But I feel like I'm trying to swim out of a whirlpool.

Pedophilia doesn't define you. If you don't molest children, under the Pretty Good Pedophiles Shield, you should live life without shame or fear.

A study in repression, misguided redemption, and missed responsibility

Pedophilia is almost unique in that it is widely seen more as a moral failing than a medical condition, which renders treatment pointless and detection/punishment as the default societal response

I’ve long wanted to see my case notes from my psychoanalytically-based therapy at the NHS Portman Clinic in London, England, in the early 1970s, yet till this year I had put off asking for them.

An open letter to my family, friends and community in the event that I am doxxed, outed, or choose to out myself. At present none of those things have happened, but if that happens, I will attach my real name to this piece.

the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)

When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?

Some MAPs have a strong concept of themselves as a child, which takes various forms. Someone identifying as transage explains how it feels.

Being a MAP is a large and constant part of the equation. Not a day goes by when I don't think about the fact that I'm attracted to children. If I weren't so active in online MAP communities, my attraction to children would weigh on my mind a lot more.

One life was lived as a heterosexual non-pedophile and the other as a bisexual pedophile. I didn’t want to just break it off with her, as I didn’t want to hurt her. So, we got married.

At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.

People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well

Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.

A longterm relationship between a non-exclusive pedophile and an unaware non-pedophile ends. Who is left owing what to whom?

We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.

Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.

Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?

A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?

He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.

Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.

As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.

I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.

In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.

The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.

I was sexually abused as a child. I am also sexually attracted to children. I wanted support for abuse survivors but was turned down. So where do people like me go?

Looking back, it was there from puberty, but I was interpreting it as the fondness many adults feel for children.

I'd give a lot for a crime-free thriller instead, but No Dogs Allowed tells a lot of truth about a young pedophile's life